Dragons are a drag

Dragons. Smaug, Drogon, Saphira and Puff... Too many Dragons.

I read that the standard collective noun for dragons is a flight of dragons. I've also seen a weyr of dragons; a school of dragons; or a wing of dragons. In Japan apparently the proper collective term for them is "tatsu". Well, in my opinion these are all wrong... the correct collective noun is 'a plague of dragons'.

Now don't get me wrong, I love dragons as much as the next fan of fantasy; my problem is that I'd like to insert them more often into my novels yet I feel it's easy for them to make your work rife with cliche. They are so alluring and selfish as a beast that they can overpower your story and make it all about them - Dragons are the Kanye West of Fantasy Novels.

Incredible illustration from the amazing Greg Rutkowski

"Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive." ― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

The Best of Dragons...

So, I think we can agree that some authors have mastered their dragons. Let me start with the obvious... George RR Martin.

I'm not going to get into the debate of whether dragons have four legs or two legs. George himself thought the four legged version was unlikely as no winged animal has evolved with four legs... yeah, but George, it's a Dragon, I'm not sure they've followed the same evolutionary track. Still, clearly Mr. Martin has really thought about his depiction of fantasy's most powerful beast, and, it reads that way in his books. They have raw power and ferocity and are truly terrifying if you happen to be a Lannister.

The Game of Thrones TV adaptation did particularly well with George's Dragons in my opinion. They were never overly domesticated, never given human traits, never comic, never anything less than fearful. I mean we all know Daenerys Targaryen misused her last Dragon in the final episodes, but, y'know, we can blame David Benioff and D. B. Weiss for that... (I wouldn't waste a blog post on how they mangled that final season but suffice to say, I would have preferred Drogon to carry their metaphorical bodies off into the sunset at the end, rather than Khaleesi's).

Christopher Paolini, a bestselling author that I've had the pleasure of talking to, made his Dragon's even more central to his series of novels, The Inheritance Cycle. He had his Dragon's become full characters, communicating telepathically with those they deigned worthy. They had humour, intelligence, anxieties and ego. They were central to the story and Saphira, Thorn, Glaedr, and even Shruikan imposed their personality on every scene they joined without irritating me at all... no, it took the movie version to irritate me - Eragon being one of the biggest let down adaptations of a great book that I can think of, and that despite its big budget.

I have other examples of great literary Dragons, and could mention Smaug I suppose, there'll be a good gif for him I suppose, so it's tempting... but, do me a favour, let me know your top five? I only have one more Dragon to talk about and like in most blog's it's because I have a half decent story...

Not many people have a Dragon anecdote but here's mine...

Puff, The Magic Dragon (one of the few Dragons with a song!)

Peter Yarrow, the first third of the famed 60's folk trio 'Peter, Paul & Mary' is a man to be respected, for his activism as much as for his music. I wasn't alive for Peter's musical heyday in the 60's but I did grow up with the cartoon 'Puff the Magic Dragon'. In fact it was my first experience of being lost in fantasy... I also identified with the boy character, Jackie Paper.

Now I loved that cartoon. You should watch the youtube clip linked above, it's sweet, especially for those who enjoy nostalgia and experienced the cartoon when young, like me. 1.7 million people have watched that video clip and at least some views are because they enjoy the memories of it and have perhaps shared it with their children... some views however.... Well, it was only as I got into my late teens and early twenties that I started to hear a vicious rumour... 'Puff the Magic Dragon' was actually all about smoking...

“Once, quite by chance, there was an extraordinary old universe of worlds and wonder, of moons and magic. And moving through this universe was a familiar old world of cities and streets, of trees and cars. And there in an ordinary house, on an ordinary chair, was... a boy - in whose head was locked an untold story as extraordinary as anything that old universe had seen or heard." The opening words to the cartoon 'Puff the Magic Dragon'.

After the song's initial success, speculation arose—as early as a 1964 article in Newsweek—that the song contained veiled references to smoking marijuana. The word "paper" in the name of Puff's human friend Jackie Paper was said to be a reference to rolling papers, the words "by the sea" were interpreted as "by the C" (as in cannabis), the word "mist" stood for "smoke", the land of "Honahlee" stood for hashish, and "dragon" was interpreted as "draggin'" (i.e., inhaling smoke). Similarly, the name "Puff" was alleged to be a reference to taking a "puff" on a joint. The supposition was claimed to be common knowledge in a letter by a member of the public to The New York Times in 1984. This is all bullshit.

Still, it was a question that I needed an answer for, when I first met Peter Yarrow. He'd written the song Puff, the Magic Dragon inspired by a poem from his friend Leonard Lipton and I was in a small room in Indianapolis were Peter was giving a talk about getting youth involved in campaigns for social justice and equity. I'm occasionally socially inept, but that day I was smart... I knew that the Puff / Cannabis conversation was likely a tiring conversation for Peter. I didn't think he'd appreciate it, particularly when in full positive activism mode, so I turned to a colleague next to me...

"Do you know that song... Puff, the Magic Dragon? Peter wrote that you know." I said.

"Yeah, yeah, of course... it's all about smoking marijuana y'know!" He said.

Bingo I thought.

"You should ask about it when we talk to him at the end of his speech." I said.

"Ha, ha... yeah, I will."

I'd planted the thought and my colleague, being a little thick, was primed to ask the question.

We shook hands with Peter, and after a few minutes of pleasantries, my colleague had an opening.

"Peter..." He said, "Is Puff, the Magic Dragon all about smoking weed?" The question burst out and was mortifying, just as I predicted. Still, I eagerly waited Peter's response. His frown was building, but I saw the answer was trying to escape. Was he debating whether to reveal a truth to my friend and our small group? Yes. Yes he was.

"No. That's all bullshit" he said.

Though Peter quickly moved away from us, I can report that there was no twinkle in his eye, no fun he felt from having successfully planted a subversive message into the whole world. No, Peter was angry. It was some random bullshit stoner who'd attached the legend to his otherwise sweet song and though I doubt Peter is forcefully against marijuana use - he grew up in the 60's music scene after all - he is definitely cross about the urban myth that implies his Dragon is a pothead.

"Why did you ask that question dumbass?" I said to my friend, who was shocked at how cold Peter had become. He shrugged and looked like a nob. I got my answer and Peter didn't look at me with disdain - a win.

That's my Dragon anecdote, it's not my best but **** you, who else has a genuine Dragon story?